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Parents

These Top Tips have been provided by the Girls' Schools Association in connection with the new My Daughter website.

TOP TIPS FOR MOTHERS

• Don’t try to be your daughter’s best friend. She should have lots of friends but she only has one mother.
• Don’t expect your daughter to tell you everything. That is what she has friends for.
• Build your daughter’s self-esteem. She needs to know that you love her for who she is not for what you want her to become.
• Stop and think before you say ‘I know my daughter and she would never, ever lie to me’. Get real!
• Don’t automatically believe her when she says ‘Everyone else is allowed to’.

TOP TIPS FOR FATHERS

• Make sure you know your daughters’ friends’ names – they are very important to her and to her happiness. But be aware that these will change regularly so it is no good relying on your knowledge of six months ago. Keep up to date.
• Be vigilant for her safety, knowing either where she is or with whom. Keep her mobile topped up and try to persuade her always to let you know if there is a change of plan.
• Encourage your daughter to take some risks, even when her mother wants her to play safe.
• Never say anything about your daughter’s weight, either to her or in her hearing.
• Listen properly to what your daughter has to say. Girls like detail so be patient.

TOP TIPS FOR PARENTS

• Keep listening. Make time to talk with her. Don’t talk at her. Ask open questions.
• Set boundaries. Children feel secure when they know there are limits.
• Remember that academic success is only one way of succeeding. Many successful members of society did not shine at school.
• Avoid any direct comparisons with your own ability and school career (or with a sibling, cousin or a colleague’s child). Do not force your own extra-curricular hobbies and interests on your daughter.
• Remember that it’s her education, not yours. Most girls are motivated to work hard and don’t need your foot on the accelerator.